So, daddy told me to work out for two hours – I only worked out for an hour and a half. I hope he’s not going to be disapointed. My knee started hurting though, and I DID go in the suana for a while. Soo..I’m pretty sure he’ll be okay with it.
You know, my weight is an issue for me. In general, I’m comfortable with myself. It’s when I’m with someone else that I start getting insecure about it. Like, why would you want someone that is overweight when you’re able to have “super model” looking females? I just feel a little bad about myself sometimes when I think this, you know?
I was bulimic when I was sixteen. I lost like sixty pounds from vomiting and excessive working out. I really damaged my metabolism after that, and the acid ate away some of the enamal on my teeth – I’m sure. I know you’re never really recovered, because I still have those urges. I’ll eat something and think “I shouldn’t have eaten that, it’d be so easy to get rid of this problem..so fucking easy” and I don’t..I just go to the gym and work out steadily – not excessively. However, the temptation is so there.
I don’t know – I’m feeling a little panicky right now. I’m feeling like things are overwhelming me, and I know it’ll pass in an hour or two, but for the time being? Panicked. I have these small panic attacks, and they can seriously break me down to where I’m sobbing and feeling hopeless.
As much as I try to run from the demons, they always seem to find me – and they always have bigger teeth and claws than last time.
I need to get this aggression out. I need Daddy ;/
